When you get stuck in the same old rut, doing the same old things, it can feel as if life is going nowhere fast.
This can drive you to feeling burnt out, overwhelmed and/or stressed as you wonder where the real you went or perhaps you’ve forgotten or think you never knew who you were anyway!
What to do?
The obvious answer would be to cut back on what you are doing and focus on your wellbeing. Perhaps eating better, exercise, meditating and so on. All great things to do, and something I certainly advocate doing.
Yet this can just feel like another list to be done and to get through, which instead of enlightening you feels like a chore.
Perhaps you’ve been told that you need to do less at work but that somehow doesn’t feel good either.
Instead let’s start by asking:
What sort of person do I really want to be?
Perhaps you wish to be a role model to your children or younger people at work, maybe you wish to be a super healthy person or maybe you wish to be a passionate, fun social butterfly. Whatever it is, decide who that person is that would make you feel proud and happy.
From here you can work out how that person would behave, how they act in the world and the sort of things they would be doing.
For example, if you wish to be a role model for younger people at work yet you are rubbish with setting boundaries, take on way too much work, are stressed out and exhausted trying to prove yourself, what do you think that says to other people? Do you think that is a model you want others to emulate?
If not, then work out what you do wish to pass on – maybe how to set great boundaries, how to say no, how to deal with a stressful workload without getting burnt out, how to take care of your needs.
Or if you wish to be a super healthy person yet sit around all day at work and then at home you veg out in front of the TV eating crisps and chocolate, then ask yourself “is that how I will become healthy?” Imagine what a super healthy person would eat, how would they behave, what time would they get up, what exercise would they do, how would they deal with cravings, nights out, what would their sleeping patterns look like?
Or if you yearn to be a social butterfly but never go anywhere, then start to think what events would such a person go to, what parties would they host, who would they hang out with, what would they read, talk about, be interested in, how would they be a fun person that people would want to be around?
When you’ve established how the person you would like to be behaves and what they are doing in their lives, then you can work out the actions you need to take to become that person.
For example, learn how to set boundaries at work, start to eat healthy and learn techniques to not give into cravings, go out to cultural events.
Act like the person you would like to be, keep repeating and then you’ll become the person you wish to be, creating a wonderful life for yourself.
We work through this remarkable activity on our Confident You Retreat. Click here to read more about this transformational retreat programme.